Seriously, everyone. John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are over. O-V-E-R. So why are tabloids still speculating about their nonexistent relationship?

Today, People Magazine is speculating that Mayer’s latest song, Heartbreak Warfare, is all about Jennifer, with lyrics like “Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again; Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain, pain, pain.”

I won’t deny it; this is clearly about Jennifer’s habit of bringing up Brad Pitt in every single press interview. But who cares! Let him deal so the rest of us can move on already!

Along with her acting papa, John Aniston from Days Of Our Lives, Friends star Jennifer Aniston is going to narrate a CD of bonus content that is being packaged with the upcoming children’s book, Loukoumi’s Good Deeds. The book is slated to be released on April 1st, and the proceeds are going to support St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, where I hear they are either working on a cure for cancer, or maybe a cure for children (it’s probobly children though).

John Mayer likes using twitter. A lot. Did his love of Twitter lead to the end of his love with Friends star Jennifer Aniston? According to UK’s Telegraph:

“A source claimed Aniston decided Mayer was not committed enough to her and called time on their romance having found hourly updates on his Twitter page… ‘Jen was fuming. There he was, telling her he didn’t have time for her and yet his page was filled with Twitter updates.’”

This might be a mistake on Mayer’s part, since Twitter doesn’t look as good in a bikini. However, Mayer did seem a little upset after the breakup, famously tweeting: “This heart doesn’t come with instructions.”

After the jump, instructions for the heart.

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Here’s the trailer for Friends star Jennifer Aniston’s new movie Management, a romantic comedy with Steve Zahn and Woody Harrelson. For those of you who have been waiting for it, Jennifer Aniston finally says on screen “you can touch my butt.”

After the jump, the butt touching scene.
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In case you didn’t know or care, Jennifer Aniston would like to let you know (via OK! Magazine) that she is 100% over Brad Pitt. Or, in her words, “I am totally over Brad.”

Okay, that’s awesome, Jen. I mean, you guys DID divorce ages ago, and he’s clearly moved on with his life now that he’s been adopting/making new babies every year…so can you please move on with yours? (Wait, remember when he guest-starred on Friends? Good times, good times!)

We’re just teasing. We still love you. And we love Friends even more. But let’s talk about why you spent over $56,000 for your hair stylist on a recent trip to Europe.

Well, not food, but a dog treat, but that’s a good headline, right? Why would world famous actress, sex symbol, and Friends star Jennifer Aniston be reduced to consuming food products created for dogs?

Find out, and watch the video, after the jump.

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We missed this because we don’t blog on Sundays, but yesterday was Friends star Jennifer Aniston’s birthday, and it was a big one. Jennifer went from being a 39-year-old hottie to a 40-year-old hottie. Quite a change. I’d say I wish I looked like her at 40, but I’m a dude. I am jealous of her ripped abs though.

Jennifer also got a nice little present, since her movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, was #1 at the box office. That is better than cake, right?

Kids don’t get to work in factories or drink whiskey like they did in the good old days, but they still get their own awards show.

This morning the Kids Choice Awards nominations were announced, and Miley Cyrus led with three nominations. Some WB vets are also nominated this year, including Friends’ Jennifer Aniston and In Living Color’s Jim Carrey.

Of course, Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl was nominated for best song, because if there’s one thing kids love, it’s a song about a drunken woman’s bisexual experimentation.

After the jump, the full list of nominations.

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Don’t believe everything you read on Twitter. John Mayer likes to use the internet service Twitter to keep his fans updated on his life, but he also likes messing with the media. So this week, Mayer tweeted “Visiting the Diamond Exchange in Tustin” and later “Welding an engagement ring for my girlfriend.”

He’s probably joking, but there’s a chance that Mayer really is ready to marry his current girlfriend, Friends star Jennifer Aniston. If that is the case, remember you heard it here first.

(via MSNBC)

The ultimate not-chick-flick-but-still-chick-flick chick flick, He’s Just Not That Into You, premiered last night. With such an all-star cast (seriously, how did they get so many big names in a single movie??), the red carpet seemed like a fashion runway, showing the likes of Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly and Scarlett Johansson.

Check out the photos here, but I think Jennifer Aniston looks best with her hot suit. Her outfit of black and gold just screams “I’M THE REAL STAR, HERE. No one cares about you anymore, Scarlett.”